Solomon Denenberg's Bar Mitzvah
April 26, 2025
What is it: A Bar Mitzvah celebrates a child's passage into Jewish adulthood. It's the regular Saturday morning Sabbath service at the synagogue, with the participation of the Bar Mitzvah boy and his family and friends. Almost all of what happens at a Bar Mitzvah happens every Saturday at the synagogue.
Dress and Behavior for a Synagogue
Dress: Dress for girls should be modest. Many men will be wearing a suit and a tie, but sweaters and slacks are appropriate as well.
Arrival time: Arrive approximately on time. If you're late, nobody will stare at you. The service will last until about 11:30.
The yarmulke: It's pronounced Yah'-muh-kuh. Men wear a head covering in the synagogue. You'll see a stack of them when you enter. Grab one to wear until you leave the building.
The Mechitze. In an orthodox synagogue, all the men sit separately from all the women. Someone will help you figure out where to go. "Mechitze" is the name of the partition between the two sides.
No electronics. Religious Jews don't use electronics on the Sabbath, so we don't use them in the synagogue. Don't play with your cell phone, or text, or to allow it to make any noise at all. Turn it off, or make sure it is absolutely silent. Keep it out of sight. A text message "ding" or a ring tone is very bad during the service. Your kids should not play with electronic anythings during the service.
No photos. For the same reason as the electronics, photography is not allowed.
Young children and infants. If you have a very young child, it is fine to bring something to keep him quietly occupied. "Quietly" is the operative word: books are fine, but toys that inspire or require noise are not. Also we don't write on the Sabbath, so have your child read or play rather than draw. No electronics. If your child is going to be miserable in the service, you may want to consider getting a sitter for the occasion. If you bring an infant, everyone understands that babies sometimes fuss. But if he cries, take him out to the lobby where he can make noise and not disrupt the service. That's fine; you'll see other people doing just that. There is a separate playroom off the lobby that you are welcome to use as well.
Decorum. You are not expected to maintain strict silence during the service. You can lean over to your neighbor and ask a question or make a comment; you'll see other people doing that, too. Use a quiet voice so you don't distract whoever is sitting around you.
The Torah
The center of the service is where we take out and read the Torah. The Torah is a Hebrew hand-written scroll that contains the five Old Testament books Genesis through Deuteronomy. Torah scrolls are kept in the "ark" in the middle of the pulpit area. The Torah will be taken out of the ark, put on the central lectern, and then people "read" from the Torah (We say "read" but we mean "sing"). When the Torah is lifted off of the lectern, it's turned around so you can see the writing from where you sit.
The person reading from the Torah uses a little pointer that looks like a hand, so he doesn't touch the Torah and get it dirty:
Yup. That's just what it looks like. Not a translation, just the original, original five books of Moses. That's what Sol will be reading.
There will be eight separate short readings from the Torah. A blessing is made before and after each reading. There will be different Torah readers, and different people making those blessings, so while the Torah is out of the ark on the lectern, there will be lots of people moving around the pulpit. It's a fun part of the service.
What is being read from the Torah? It takes a year to read through the entire Torah, and then we start all over again. So each week, we read about one-fiftieth of the Torah. The week of Sol's Bar Mitzvah, we are reading Leviticus, Chapters 9 through 11, most of which is where the Bible discusses what is permitted and fobidden to be eaten.
Two main books
The prayer book. You will see two books in front of your seat on your pew. One is the book that contains the prayers. The rabbi will let you know what page we're on throughout the service. The prayer book is Hebrew on one side and English on the other, so you can easily see what a prayer means if it's conducted in Hebrew, as most prayers will be.
A copy of the Bible: There will also be an English and Hebrew Bible that contains the readings from the Torah for the day. The rabbi will let you know what pages the readings will are on, so you can follow along as people are reading from the Torah scroll itself.
Other details
Standing and sitting: For some prayers, the congregation stands. When you see that everyone else is standing for a prayer, go ahead and stand, and then sit when everybody sits. The rabbi will let you know in advance when we stand for a prayer.
Who participates in the service? The rabbi runs most of the show. "Rabbi" means teacher. The major function of a rabbi is to instruct and guide in the study and practice of Judaism. A rabbi's authority is based solely on his learning.
Then, lots of congregants participate in the service, too. You won't be dragged up to the pulpit, though: everyone participating already knows that he's going to participate.
Luncheon. Immediately following the service, you are invited to join us for a buffet-style luncheon at the synagogue.
If you have questions, ask someone who looks like he knows what's going on!
Thank you for sharing this Simcha, this happy event, with us!
And here's a Wordle for Sol's Bar Mitzvah! A clue: The Bar Mitzvah starts these responsibilities.